is sleep is the new sex?

Posted: 13th May, 2008

You’re life is so totally, overwhelmingly busy that you simply don’t have the energy for sex.

It’s not of course the end of a relationship if you go some time with a lacklustre or indeed non-existent love life.

Every relationship has its down-time. But the major worry with the tiredness reason for avoiding sex is that it gains a weird sort of reverse momentum.

Keep using tiredness as an excuse and before you know it, total inertia has set in.

What you need is a two-pronged attack.

Here’s a fact: having sex when you’re tired is not a sin! Having sex when you’re tired can start off indifferently and get a whole lot better.

And even if it doesn’t, indifferent sex is better than no sex. At least you’ve got something to work on.

If you’re of the aficionado brigade who unless sex is a multiorgasmic garden of delight would rather not bother, then you have to negotiate this with your partner.

Make definite dates when you’re going to do it. Make sex that day your priority. See it as a red-letter event.

Also, re-organise your workload.

A lot of couples in their thirties with young children are having no sex.

At the root of it is usually resentment on the part of one partner towards the other. Usually the woman is resentful of the man.

She is usually working, even if only part time, and doing most of the childcare too.

Women who have given up work to look after their children tend not to be as resentful, but they feel that their men don’t appreciate all that they do.