APRIL 17th: JODIE 'KEEPING IT REAL' MARSH

So Jodie Marsh has finally bitten the bullet and followed suit by copying rival Jordan in having a breast enlargement. Not just any old enlargement, the poor excuse for a glamour model who actually looks more like a man in drag on a very bad day, has gone up to a 32GG. Nice. Well done Jodie love on becoming a stereotype of yourself.

Her autobiography titled “Keeping It Real” seems slightly ironic in comparison to the socialite’s life in general. Previously having worked as a stripper in Stringfellows, taking part in reality TV gold “Celebrity Big Bruvva” and starring in her own reality show “Totally Jodie Marsh; Who’ll Take Her Up The Aisle?” seems to be quite the opposite of her- self confessed ‘keeping it real’ motto.

She didn’t particularly come across well in Celeb BB and was voted off the show first after taking quite a tongue lashing from the rather gorgeous Pete Burns and the pool party extraordinaire Michael Barrymore, where she practically begged the pair and the nation for social acceptance and made out that they didn’t know the ‘real Jodie’. In the week she tortured us with her constant whining and slapping on her make-up with a trowel, we found out that she HAD to have that nose job due to an old Hockey accident (if it looks like that now, what the hell did it look like before??), that her dogs are her very best friends in the whole wide world as they truly understand her, that she is an ambassador for PETA and states animals ‘are not ours to wear’, however the classy lady wears leathers on her motorbike and has leather seats in her flashy car. Hmmm....??

So, the role model of the year has now spent more of her hard earned dosh on a gigantic pair of boobies to attract more attention to herself. I suppose she has been hanging her head in shame after the shambles that was her marriage set up which she confessed to only doing for the money. Do you have any values in life Jodie?  For those crazy enough to actually look up to the woman who has acted like a dog on heat for most of her adult life (no wait, who has looked as rough as a stray dog in the summer heat) some may have felt upset and conned out of thinking that the Essex Gal may actually have decided to settle down with a man who she hasn’t stolen from a friend or participated in a ménage a trois with. But no, she wasn’t ‘keeping it real’ when we found out it was all a lie and she got mega bucks out of the show. Who was surprised? Nah, me neither!

But we will continue to see Jodielicious in our papers and in men’s mags every week for some new ridiculous reason or another. But good on you Jodie, no matter how many beatings you take, you roll with the punches and come back for more.

And believe me, there will be more. ..

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