APRIL 25th: THE APPRENTICE WEEK 5
Updated: 09:56, Monday April 28, 2008
Week 5 and what flashes of brilliance we saw in this episode.
Take Team Alpha, for instance. Not for them, selling ice to eskimos. No, keen to show off their sales acumen, they put their own European spin on the ultimate marketeers' challenge and instead set their sights on selling ice cream to ice cream makers.
Which made them precisely diddly-squat.
Renaissance's market research was of a similar level of excellence. The team clearly employed techniques prescribed by the Men Behaving Badly School Of Business which recommends that if you can't source the right people for the job, two drunks from a local pub will do just fine, thank you.
Thus, we viewers looked on in amazement as two inebriated men necked ice-cream out of the back of a car and declared the alcholic flavour as one of their favourites. Shocker.
When the deal's in sight, it's always a good idea to elaborate on the benefits of your product. "Very Berry ice cream makes up one of your five-a-day", claimed the Renaissance gang.
How marvellous - I'll be sure to regularly include that with the other fruit and veg in my diet, along with Chocolate Oranges, Strawberry Hubba Bubba, pickled Onion Crisps and peach schnapps.
In the end, it was goodbye to Lindi. Yes, the woman who brought us the service we never knew we needed - the 24-hour laundry hotline - has been given the old heave-ho and, like an Eastenders character emigrating to another country (or, as we know it, Stratford), she disappeared in a taxi. Hopefully, she stopped off at the zoo to return her eyelashes to the family of giraffes she had clearly stolen them from. Forget the pro-Tibet demonstrators - one blink from that girl and the Olympic flame would be a goner....
Goodbye, my lovers. Goodbye, my friends.
Well, you know, until Monday.....
Take Team Alpha, for instance. Not for them, selling ice to eskimos. No, keen to show off their sales acumen, they put their own European spin on the ultimate marketeers' challenge and instead set their sights on selling ice cream to ice cream makers.
Which made them precisely diddly-squat.
Renaissance's market research was of a similar level of excellence. The team clearly employed techniques prescribed by the Men Behaving Badly School Of Business which recommends that if you can't source the right people for the job, two drunks from a local pub will do just fine, thank you.
Thus, we viewers looked on in amazement as two inebriated men necked ice-cream out of the back of a car and declared the alcholic flavour as one of their favourites. Shocker.
When the deal's in sight, it's always a good idea to elaborate on the benefits of your product. "Very Berry ice cream makes up one of your five-a-day", claimed the Renaissance gang.
How marvellous - I'll be sure to regularly include that with the other fruit and veg in my diet, along with Chocolate Oranges, Strawberry Hubba Bubba, pickled Onion Crisps and peach schnapps.
In the end, it was goodbye to Lindi. Yes, the woman who brought us the service we never knew we needed - the 24-hour laundry hotline - has been given the old heave-ho and, like an Eastenders character emigrating to another country (or, as we know it, Stratford), she disappeared in a taxi. Hopefully, she stopped off at the zoo to return her eyelashes to the family of giraffes she had clearly stolen them from. Forget the pro-Tibet demonstrators - one blink from that girl and the Olympic flame would be a goner....
Goodbye, my lovers. Goodbye, my friends.
Well, you know, until Monday.....
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