Jan 7th: GARETH GATES AKA GEEGEE

Gemma G here;

Monday already? Oh Joy?!?

Gareth Gates has announced his engagement and instantly the hills are alive with the sound of a publicity stunt (and already I’m hoping the marriage ends in some kind of drug-fuelled adultery with a circus dwarf just so we can refer to the ensuing scandal as “ Gates-gate”) .

But why so cynical, people? Why does everyone automatically assume that this isn’t the real thing and that Gareth needs to stage one of the most important events of his life just to get some attention? Hmm?

Well, it seems a quick glance at little GeeGee’s website will tell you exactly why.

Let us start with his blog which follows our favourite Flop Idol as he careers through 2007. Here you’ll find such anarchic-revelries as performing at Asda in Longwell Green, naming his new pet fish, birthday celebrations in the bright lights of Yorkshire which “definitely included a few drinks” and getting some antibiotics from the doctor. Phew! What a ride!

 In between the tales of debauchery, GeeGee takes time out to give the kind of insight into his private life which makes me wonder if his blog has been hacked into by my nan – take the following: 12.07.07: (his birthday) “ I got a lovely handmade card from Doris” and 19.07.07: “What is going on with this weather? I tried to stay outside when it was raining just to prove it couldn’t ruin my day. Guess what? I got soaked”. Soaked! In the rain! Can you imagine? But wait, there’s more – the fiendish munchkin reveals a darker, twisted side as he cruelly sends his intellectually-challenged fans’ brains into meltdown by asking, “Hola! Guess where I went on holiday?”.

Under the heading, ‘Gigs and appearances’ we’re told there’s “nothing to announce at the moment”. You don’t say.

So as you can see, GeeGee doesn’t need to pull any stunts. Just because his last blog entry was 3 whole months prior to the engagement announcement  and documents his favourite word as ‘sweeeeet’ and his latest activity as presenting a video games award, doesn’t mean he’s not a kerazy superstar with a hard-core schedule. No, I’m sure Justin Timberlake’s at home right now updating his website in a similar fashion – 07.01.08: “Hi fans – do you like meat as much as me? Yum, I love it. In fact my favourite meaty treats, in order, are 1)Pepperami – it’s a stick of tasty ingredients with ambiguous origins; 2) Bovril – a mug of meaty goodness; 3) Pork scratchings....mmm, hairy...”.

 See you tomorrow x

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